no toad mind.
but that's ok. the zen centre has a "wall-gazing day" every couple of weeks or so. maybe i'll find enlightenment whilst gazing at a spot on the plaster.
or maybe not.
i didn't do so hot the other day on the flying trapeze. i was up there just enjoying the feeling of flying and forgetting that i was supposed to keep my hip against the bar and go into the splits and arch my back and look forward and etc etc. i just kept thinking "man---why does he have to yell so much? why can't i just stay up here forever....?"
oh well. next time. but not this sunday because i'm going to hang out with becca! wa-whoooo! gonna leave work at noon on friday. gonna drive to santa cruz. gonna hang out with my good friend and her family. sweet.
on monday i took a yoga class with a new teacher and whoo-wee! he sure kicked my behind.
i don't know what's going on with the "wa-whoos" and the "whoo-wees". they're just flowing right now. just gonna let 'em come on out. i think it may be the voice of my inner farmer wearing overalls and pinching a stalk of grass between his teeth. surveying the property and reminiscing..."whoo-wee! back in 1960 we shore did get us some heavy rain. that shore was a rainy year. wa-whoo."
i never knew i had that particular inner voice until this very moment. i'm so glad i keep finding out stuff about myself.
and you? what are some of your inner voices? this could be fun...
what was i saying before farmer tangent? ah yes--yoga. yeah, it was hard. i was sore. but felt stellar. i had a couple of spiritual transcendence moments in yoga class the other day where the time-space continiuum did not exist. that was amazing--like being on top of a mountain, only less lonely.
blah blah. from farmers to transcendence.
my post is rather disjointed this evening. i think i shall retire to my boudoir and tuck into a delicious book. yum yum.
good night all. i wish you toothsome dreams.

sorry i've disappeared from the blogging world. voila! here i am again! impressive isn't it? just like pulling a rabbit out of a hat.
i guess the lack o' posts corresponds directly with the lack of exciting,provocotive news. pretty much same 'ol same 'ol round these here parts.
tons of yoga. flying trapeze again (it gets better and better...and harder and harder. that's usually how things go though huh?). work. or quasi-work actually--there seems to be a dearth of things to do in the admin assistant world lately. so i get paid to pretend to look busy. nick got a similar job---i guess that is hardly worth a complaint. paid for pretending? hell yeah.
although i'd rather have a lot of work--it makes the day go by faster.
i've started cooking a lot more and experimenting with yummy vegan cuisine. last night we made very authentic tasting chinese food (michelle---come over. NOW!) and the other night we made a big vat of tasty tasty chili. everyone should come over and i'll cook for you. i'll make a delcious carrot cake....
i've made a commitment to myself to organise my life because the random bits o' paper everywhere are starting to make my sanity unravel. and we all know how very delicate my grip on reality is already...
so i've decided to spend 30 minutes a day for 30 days organizizing. i can handle 30 minutes. and if i do it for 30 days that equals 15 hours! who says i can't do the math?! check out that complex equation i just solved for all ya'll!
i know it must sometimes seem like i have a boring existence if i write about what i cooked for dinner and my organizing efforts---but believe you me i am not turning into betty homemaker (can you imagine?) but am having a fabulous time! i feel better than i have in years---i am sure it is a healthy mix of diet, exercise, and gentle self-discipline. and i still have time for a glass of sake and a bad foreign film every once in a while. yeah!
nick and i are going to check out the zen centre of los angeles on saturday. we're going to sit in silence, gaze at the wall, and try to find toad-mind. toad mind is not a zen saying incidentally. i made it up. i figure a toad has a perfectly zen mind--sitting perfectly still, eating a fly every now and then, sleeping, ribbiting. sounds like zen to me. i don't really get zen---but i'll give it a go. if i reach "toad-mind to the max" level---i'll let you know.
just keep checking this post to find out.
sending much love to all my delicious readers. happy day!

i'm sore as hell today. i think my trapezing muscles are way under-used. but i still feel great. i don't think i was nearly as productive today at work as i should have been and i blame it on the glorious flying daydreams i was revelling in. am i too old to go pro?
i hate being "too old" for stuff. that's lame. age is a mental thing right? that means my dad must be getting close to four.
speaking of age--nick is turning 25 on thursday and we are going out for sushi. and i am buying him a present of sorts and we are going bouldering/camping this weekend. good times. everybody be sure to call him and make him feel as important as he is.
it is now 8:32 p.m. nick is at aikido (yay! he is learning to throw people across the room. don't mess with him..) and i am contemplating bed already. it was over 100 degrees (i am always so frustrated there is no degree symbol on the typer) this weekend and i think it sapped the energy out of me. last night was somewhat apocolyptic--nick and i returned home to find the entire block without electricity. and it didn't come back on until 5:30 this morn. you never realise how loud the white noise that surrounds us is--until it's gone. the house was so beautiful and silent. the crickets and birds sounded so much louder. i shut my eyes next to our wide open window and pretended i was in a tent. a bed in a tent---there's an idea (i think that's the attraction for the evil r.v.s that people seem to love around here. barf).
i'm reading "omnivore's dilemma" by michael pollan which is an incredible book thus far that i highly recommend. it's basically about corn but manages to be so fascinating. who knew? just like al gore's movie being so riveting. life is full of suprises. right now i'm reading about the cruel things we do to cows in feed lots. it's so disturbing and really comes right back to the human. just like polluting the environment comes back to polluting our bodies. i am really glad i gave up meat---even though it's only been a few months my head feels so much clearer. and it is indeed a more compassionate way to live. not that i am preaching to give up meat---it is just interesting how it affects my life. i feel great. and i hope everyone reading this takes their own lives into their own hands and feels great too.
but soy bacon (facon) is actually legitimitely tasty. yum.
(i can just see the rolling eyes. "oh no here goes brandyn on her health soapbox again. can't help it.)
anyway--enough of that nonsense. i love you all and i want each and every one of you to come visit me. it's summertime. visiting-your-friends-and-family-time. hang-out-at-the-beach-time. give-hugs-to-me-time.
stop-writing-this-blog-and-go-to-bed-time.
sayonara.

it's stinking hot here. i left an apple in the car whilst trapezing (oh holy trapeze--thou art great..) and when i got back i had a baked apple. no kidding. baked. yowza.
so today i flew with ease on a flying trapeze. oh i haven't had so much fun since...i don't know when. it's like nothing you've ever done. my first fly i screamed so loud with sheer delight and amazement. i was flying! that made everyone laugh---the class is mainly seasoned veterans and i think you forget how fun that first flight is. but i got to hang on my knees and get caught by the other trapeze and then turn around mid-air and try to catch the empty trapeze again. i didn't catch it...but...next time maybe. because there will be a next time. of this i am sure. it's never to late to run away and join the circus.
i have the beginning of calluses on my palms and the back of my knees and wrists are scraped from the swing and the net but i feel spectacular. now i just need to learn the spanish web and how to juggle and tightrope walk and....
ok. one thing at a time. or maybe two. yoga and trapeze. i am unstoppable.
come visit and we'll go fly on the trapeze. and go to yoga class.
sound good?
that's what i thought.
nick and i have been listening to japanese tapes in the car and learning a suprising amount. do you know how to say "where is the beer" in japanese? i do. i bet you don't wanna go to japan without me by your side. otherwise you'll be sad and beer-less.
i worked three 13 hour days last week so i am excited to go back to the measly 8 hour days. and the paycheck will be fatty. and i will spend it all on trapeze.
unless you come visit--then i will take you to eat sushi and buy you a beer.
everyone should read sister alex's blog. it is no longer mexican adventure but turkish adventure extrodinaire. good stuff.
you're good stuff too.